Control them before they control you!
We feel almost 34,000 unique emotions, according to Robert Plutchik, a professor emeritus at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and a psychologist. Of them, there are 8 core emotions that we feel most of the time, including joy, surprise, sadness, and so on.
Every one of us feels emotions at different levels. Some people get frustrated by minor inconveniences, while others survive their worst traumas. These are the people who control their feelings. Plus, they are mindful of what their emotions and their sources are.
However, it must be clear that controlling your emotions is not equal to suppressing them or becoming numb to your feelings. It is more about understanding them and channeling them to make better decisions.
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If you have ever felt extreme anger or frustration, this guide will help you regulate your emotions.
1. Note And Name Your Feelings
Most of the time, when we are unable to control our emotions, the reason behind this is that we are unable to identify what we are feeling. We often go through mixed emotions at a time, making us more numb or frustrated.
So, whenever you are in a spiral of extreme emotions, always slow down and ask yourself what you are feeling. Once you note your feelings layer by layer, you can reach their source or reason. That’s the first step to address the issue.
2. Communicate Your Emotions
Lucius Annaeus Seneca, a great philosopher, said, “We suffer more in our imagination than in reality.”
One of the reasons is that we do not talk things out with the people around us.
Feeling left out because your friends did not invite you to the party? Or are you feeling angry? That one guy or girl made your life miserable? Maybe sit them with for a serious and mature talk. Without criticizing just one other, try to communicate two-way, not only because it strengthens the relationships but also gives a sense of relief.
3. Harness Your Intense Feelings
Most of the time, when we experience strong emotions, we become hyper and super energized. Emotions and feelings are a form of energy that you can channel. The first step is to face your feelings and be aware of them. And then you must be patient and not react impulsively.
If you are emotionally overwhelmed, it might be because you are not listening to the other person. So, pause and actively listen to others to understand their point of view without preparing your replies.
4. Do Journaling
There is a deep connection between journaling and emotional wellness. When you write down your emotions and thoughts, you tend to regulate them better.
Journaling is a whole separate ball game. But here, we will keep things simple! You can grab any notebook and write down your thoughts. It can be abstract lines, bullet points, or short paragraphs. You can doodle if you are not good with words. The aim is to express your inner thoughts.
5. Do Breathing Exercises
Breathing might be the obvious but ignored aspect when we feel emotional. In stress, crises, anxiety, and focused work, we breathe less without even knowing. Breathlessness might not be so prominent in many individuals, but it is a strong sign that someone is getting out of control of their emotions.
Here are some quick breathing exercises that will cool down your anxiety:
- Get in a comfortable position. Lie with a pillow under your neck or sit on a chair with your arms rested.
- Take a long breath and fill your lungs with air at maximum capacity.
- Exhale slowly. Feel every breath.
- Repeat it for a few minutes until you calm down.
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6. Meditate Or Practice Mindfulness
Around 200-500 million people meditate worldwide, depicting that meditation and mindfulness are effective practices for emotional well-being.
It has scientifically proven benefits in reducing stress and PTSD and enhancing willpower. Mindfulness, on the other hand, improves focus and awareness about our emotions. Studies have proven that meditation also reduces emotional reactivity, which means you become more emotionally mature when you practice mindfulness and meditation.
7. Promote Positive Self-Talk
Self-talk is like fuel that you give to your mind. So, you keep it positive and encouraging. Otherwise, it can mess up your mental health.
Shifting the focus to positive comments is the best way to stop negative thoughts. Whenever you find situations out of your control, you should keep your emotions intact. You motivate yourself by saying that you have put in the effort as much as you can, and results are not in your hands. Doing so will help you boost your mental health as well.
8. Identify Trigger Sources
We all get triggered by different things. So, the wise approach is to be aware of your triggers and try to avoid them as much as possible. However, it does not mean you get afraid of those negative feelings.
You get to know your triggers when you pause for a bit and analyze the situations based on your past experiences. For example, toxic communication in relationships, loneliness, feeling under pressure, and unjust treatment are some of the most common triggers for people.
To Sum Up:
In a nutshell, there are tons of emotions to feel, but you must not get under their control. You should be in the driving seat rather than your feelings controlling your life. Using these evidence-based tips like deep breathing, identifying stress triggers, and communicating well can make you better at managing your emotions.